jason "juice" hardung

punk rock

Every weekend
we packed in an 82' Toyota Celica
under a light post burning moth abdomens
and the blue wings of youth
in the vfw parking lot
cheap vodka slammed straight
from plastic bottles
and cassette tapes
taped over a thousand songs
minutemen big drill car minor threat misfits
we were a swirl of elbows and rubber bones
and days lasted thirty six hours

we didn't care about being down with
mother nature
the way she twirled in that white dress
and smiled all the time
made me sick
and I wanted to smother her with a garbage bag
to save her hairline from receding

the walls watched slow suicides
with the gray portrait eyes
of war heroes that never
amounted to much
I really believed we could change the world
with a guitar more than a machine gun

the descendants didn't want to grow up
and I never thought I would
like a dog that doesn't stick it's head out of car windows
like a flower that doesn't sway
like a peacock that doesn't strut
a wild mustang sucking sugar from children's hands
in a roadside petting zoo
like a deck of 49 bent cards
like the king of heart surgery
like a sun rise that moans
a flame that coughs
a line some actor forgot
a virgin mary on a junkyard dash
a hired killer with a heart
a man that forgot his name

the last time i scored dope

may 18, 2005 nobody was on Larimer Street that day
that happens when the police are close by.
dealers can smell uniforms
and they hide in shadows or blend
in at bus stops.
plus it was sunday.
religion plays a part.
I looked all day
my bones shaking
my eyes watering.
as a last resort
i went to the mission on 20th and Arapahoe
where jive talkers
saw the white boy coming.
"you got a cigarrette man? what you need?"
an old whore in torn jeans pushed them away
and grabbed me by the arm.
"don't trust them. i'll get what you need. you sick right now?

I didn't want to seem vulnerable so I said no
and followed her down the street
it was twilight
she whistled in a high pitch like my aunt Diane
used to when she wanted us to come home.
shadows began to move
and I finally got my drugs
but before she split she said
"prostitutes don't prostitute for themselves
they prostitute for the fathers and husbands of this coun-try.

I laughed and flicked my lighter so I could see in my hand
she only gave me half of what I paid for
but by then she was gone
and I had to get home.
I had to work in the morning.