I Dance Like Elaine from Seinfeld
I haven't showered in 17 years
I dress in worn thin patience
I have never once brushed my teeth
They've been replaced by a slat picket fence
Untreated lumber, gaps cracks and whorls
My smile is not for the faint of heart
I have a strict unwillingness to improve
I never make eye contact
It would scare you anyhow
I stutter-step through life with an atrophied gait
My pelvis is rotting, my pelvis is rotting
I keep the secrets of life drunk on weeping tissues
They hatch, pupate, feed, grow
My fingernails spiral into themselves
I can no longer scratch the secrets out
But baby, in the pock-ridden face of all this, I can dance
Sad Lemon, No Birthday
At times, the lady and I
get along famously
[We sing, we dance]
She has a penchant for acting,
it seems I prefer action-
She read her e-mail an hour and a half ago
it resulted in another cocktail
[sad lemon, no birthday]
We licked each other's fingers clean
Read into this; a metaphor for an
allegory for a euphemism for a song
I then told a tale of substances
she wore a pretty hat
Enter an apparatus designed much like
an individual scuba
And other times, well-
Suffice it to say, that
the lady and I
we have a schism, crystallinity
[botched, call the ambulance]
burnt sugar spires into misfit “hemihedrae”
She asks, "Why an e-mail, when I'm
sitting right here?"
I can hardly keep my eyes open
"I'm afraid to tell you why I'm afraid."
This discourse of course makes no
sense at all
and we'll spend the rest of the
evening with shattered lemons,
reminiscing about 'back in the day'
[I'd swear it was a tuesday,
she would give our first born
on it being a Wednesday]
But he's the saddest of lemons
and should be spared a birthday regardless.
When I find I am denatured,
I thank you again for it, and
I will report my interpretations
of those findings post-haste.
The California gold rush is renewed,
though, I'd like to elaborate on the
fiscal insolvencies of a futures
market based on a non-sustainable
adjunct as an economic engine. To
wit, I will cite the morbid
affordings of a cyclical downturn.
To improve, a balance need be struck.
This is what makes you degrade.
And, I will further elaborate on the
subject in a more than topical manner.
Because; if beauty is only skin deep,
I state most assuredly that ugliness
cannot be. These are some of the
best and worst explanations possible.
On the other hand, there is
possibility in interpretive factoring
which I may not have surmised.
My negligences can be catalogued
in any demarcative structure you
find pleasing. Be sure you act on
these impulses sooner rather than
later, or I will have to compile
entirely new sets of data.